“The brain dictates what we feel, not what we do,” someone once said. GEOFFREY SWARFART
You become conscious of your hunger. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for drive and desire, is activated by cells in your brain. You want sushi. To fulfill this urge, your mind and brain begin a light fandango, a dance of connected steps.
You check the time, determine whether spending 20 minutes to acquire it is justified, and account for the price. If you decide it’s okay, you drive to the nearest sushi restaurant while looking for your wallet and keys. While you’re gone, you can decide to complete some chores. This entire effort was driven by a need to eat.
Imagine that right before you’re ready to depart, a client phones and irrationally vents their outrage, annoyance, or displeasure—or all three—over the fact that their expectations weren’t met.
Your brain will produce a varied set of emotions depending on what depends on their enjoyment. You may experience annoyance, worry, panic, or even fear. What you need right now is closure.
As you balance the client’s expressed perception with the truth of the events as they actually happened, the dance takes on a pained jiggle.
Hunger and sushi-related thoughts are cast aside.
Perhaps after some time has passed, your hunger strikes once more, and you hurriedly down something, moderately annoyed that you had to stop the explanation email you were writing with something so unimportant as hunger.
You’ve experienced the entire range of emotions in a short period of time. You’ve done a wide range of difficult actions to first navigate and then improve them.
Every waking moment of the day, our brains and minds dance a wonderful waltz.
Who is guiding this dance is the question. Your mind or your brain The two of you.
The brain and the feelings it produced were dominant in this situation. Therefore, the client is unquestionably in charge. As they swirl you around the room, you are merely an accessory in fulfilling whatever their idea of reality is.
The unsteady dance
This is the query. Should we attempt to retake the lead or should we avoid getting into this awkward dance in the first place?
Eating sushi when you want it is far preferable to reacting in a way that tries to fulfill all of your unreasonable expectations.
Over the course of my 36 years of client service, I have some experience with this.
The fandango, the hellish ballroom, nonetheless elicits a response despite being largely free of it.
The target of my rage right now is my brain, not the client.
Dervish the whirling
those group of neurons that respond so quickly to stimulation and mimic a gang of whirling dervishes.
It has an unpleasant effect. None of it leads to anything positive, from a minor annoyance to a minor catastrophic reaction, like igniting the fuse on a bag of dynamite, to the more dramatic atomic meltdown.
Anything else, like a trip to the sushi shop, is always immediately abandoned as a result.
If we haven’t yet mastered taking deliberate action while being continuously exposed to a set of stimuli, we risk being too sensitive.
It is comparable to a long-term relationship. To get the desired response, the partner merely needs to begin speaking and even take a breath.
All of this was done by our brain, not our seeming mind.
I’m still a novice when it comes to knowing how the brain functions, but I’ve lately learned about mindfulness. the interference, in my opinion, between the act of feeling, which the brain does, and the act of doing, or responding, which the mind performs.
Though I’m in love with the idea. the idea that through practice, we can learn to feel, pause, think, and then choose how to react in any situation, at any moment. That’s fantastic.
Imagine. on the way to a sushi shop. Calls from irate clients. Stop, think, choose, and take action. visit the sushi restaurant. Resolve the client’s issue afterwards, politely.
What about this, then?
Similar situation, but with an addition. Fix the client’s problem. Think about if this frustration was justified, necessary, or fair to vent. Is it an ongoing offense. Decide. No. Call the client and respectfully let them know you’d like to refer them to another, more suitable service.
or superior. Stop. Consider. Should you ever work for someone who doesn’t appreciate or value what you do enough to be polite? Obviously not. Take the sensible and required actions to make that happen. the joyful dance
Invest in clarity-related efforts. What is your lone motivating goal? What do you do for whom and why?
Evaluate your proposal. Select the one that best addresses the issues of the people you want to collaborate with most and who will gain the most from what you have to offer.
the value into a package. How much would a person have to gain from working with you to enjoy the advantages?
Find the stories that are consistent with your goal and blog about them.
Serve these kind folks so effectively that you take away their suffering. You’ll earn their admiration. Blog about it.
Make it obvious how you work, for what reason, and for how much compensation. Blog about that as well.
Gain mindful fitness. Although I currently lag behind, I am eager to improve and become as graceful in my mindful practice as a prima ballerina.